Monday, August 29, 2005

Hold me closer Tiny Dancer

Things observed at this weekend's Dave Matthews concert:



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If you wave at a truck load of guys and you're on the street driving towards the venue, there's a good chance the guys are going to be there too.

If a frisbee lands near your feet while you're sitting in the parking lot, then there's a good chance the frisbee came from one of the guys in the truck you waved at 20 mins earlier.

Holly: "We need some cups. We can't drink those from the bottle here"
Heather: "Let me look in my trunk"
Holly: "What? Why?"
Heather: "I might have some cups back there"
Holly: "Why would you have cups in your trunk"
Heather: "You never know"

(45 seconds later Heather pulls out at least 5 different cups. Real cups. Not plastic or styrofoam ones.)

Holly: "Why in the world do you have CUPS in your TRUNK??"
Heather: "One never knows.... ew, that one had something funky in it. Definitely not that one....."

It's really unfair how guys get to pee in any convenient container at basically anytime they need to go, while a girl can't just squat in a crowded parking lot without attracting a lot of attention to herself. I was really envious of this fact until I spotted the "pee jug" and decided I would never want to pee into a jug that my 3 best buddies had gone in before me. That's just gross.

The field at the Home Depot Center is currently covered in sand and this really pissed me off. For some reason I felt the need to express my anger to the pretzel guy, although surprisingly enough, he didn't care too much about the sand, nor do I think he even knew what I was saying. I was still pissed, though. They still had the plastic floor down so it wasn't like I was walking in sand all night. It was still annoying everytime I reached the end and had to walk in sand to get to the stairs.

I didn't fall this year on the plastic floor. Maybe that says something about the state I was in as compared to last year, or maybe I've gained more coordination and grace. ehhh... probably not.

Jason Mraz opened up and only did one song that most people know. My thinking is: if you've got 3 songs where there's a good chance most of the people know them, wouldn't you sing those 3 songs?? He didn't even do his most recent single, but instead sang his FIRST single. Strange. Heather still loves his voice, though.

If you've got a polo shirt on with the collar pulled up, black plastic sunglasses with bright purple sides circa 1989 when neon was hip, and yellow flip flops that say "corona" all over them, there's a good chance you're drunk. If this is the case, do us all a favor and provide us with continued entertainment through all the boring parts before the show starts so that we have something to do. Because it really was entertaining, and your dancing isn't so awful that it's annoying.

If you in the purple sunglasses and yellow flip flops decide later in the show to go get beers for you and your buddies, make sure you try to remember where you're sitting so that you're not walking up the aisle screaming "SHAWWWWNN! SHAAAWWWWNN!" while the headliner is playing. That's annoying.

Apparently Sublime is some good music for Holly to get up and groove to while waiting for the opener to come on. Without any shame at all, I was shakin' it. Heather loved it. She did.

When the couple next to you leave their seats for whatever reason during the show, this is the perfect time to let it all out and dance up a storm. Which I did. Also shamelessly. The song was "Dancing Nancies" after all, and for those 6 minutes my name was Nancy and I was dancin'.

When the same couple comes back to their seat, it's a good idea to remember the invisible boundaries that are around you when you're dancing so that you're not getting dirty looks. Hey, if you leave during the set, then decide to come back, you gotta give me a few minutes to readjust to my limited space. Leave me alone.

If, upon leaving the venue, you're in need of a Del Taco, my advice is to not ask the traffic control guy. If you do, he's probably going to say something like "I don't know where Del Taco is but I know where 7-eleven is. You could go there and ask them." ummm... that's okay. Thanks. Weirdo.

Del Taco tastes really good after a Dave show.


Friday, August 19, 2005

Thank You for the Music

Welcome to the blog entry dedicated to the love of my life:  music. 
 
Why is it that I'd never listed to the lyrics of The Pina Colada Song before this week?  I thought the version I was listening to was a spoof or something because the lyrics were so ridiculous. I always knew the basic premise of the song and the line "If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain..." but never listened to "If you're not into yoga.  If you have half a brain. If you'd like making love at midnight in the dunes on the Cape.  Then I'm the love that you've looked for. Write to me and escape."  So lame!!  Read more about how this song came about here if you're interested. 
 
A few months ago one of my favorite disco songs came on my iPod as I was riding in the car with my mom.  Who doesn't know "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls??  Everyone, right?  Well my mom looks at me and says "What's this song?  Is it from a movie?" 
WHAT?!?!?!  She'd never heard the song!!!!  My mom--the cool mom who saw Elvis in Vegas and went to the Troubadour in its' early days, had never heard "It's Raining Men".  She'd obviously not been to any sort of club lately on 70's night.  The Funkee Hippeez could learn her a thing or two.  I was floored and think of her everytime I hear it. 
 
Last night I missed Jonny Lang at The House of Blues.  I'm hoping I don't regret that decision forever.  It makes me very sad. 
 
But I figure I'm saving up for next weekend and The Dave Matthews Band.  It's on.  Me, Heather, and 30,000 of our closest overgrown frat boy friends.  Awww yeah.  Throw in the Funkee Hippeez and our weekend would be complete. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I See it Shining Right Through the Rain

I think my blog has been missing more of the humor that I started it with.  I believe I'm nearing my one year anniversary of blogging, so I'm going to try harder to stay closer to what it was intended for:  the funny observations and random things that happen in my life.  This is my pledge. 
 
This morning I noticed that Babyface has a new album out.  I like Babyface. I like his songs.  I don't, however, like the title of his new album, Grown & Sexy.  I find it frightening, actually.  He should have consulted me instead of taking the advice of R. Kelly or KC & JoJo or something. 
 
Men's shoes that are louder than women's bother me.  It doesn't seem right that a man should be "click click clicking" behind me.  Get shoes with heels that don't make you sound like you're wearing stillettos. 
 
In Nevada, like every state, there are different license places to choose from.  The standard style, however, has 3 numbers, then 3 letters.  It's disturbing that the state actually printed a huge number of license plates that start with "666".  It's more disturbing that people would actually accept this as proper identification for their car.  Even if you don't believe in God, unless you're an actual devil worshipper, do you really want to take the risk of riding around with the Ruler of Hell's number on your CAR???  The roads are crazy enough these days.  Don't invite more trouble.  Just say no, Nevada. 
 
I'm not sure about the etiquette at crosswalks, and they are a point of humor for me every time I find myself at one.  First of all, the people who insist on pressing the button over and over again until it gives them permission to walk really make me crazy.  As if your need to cross the street is going to make the light say "oh! I'm sorry!  Let me stop all of these cars and throw off the rest of the flow of traffic so that YOUR pretty little head can cross the street". 
 
But when you are waiting to cross, and have already pressed the button, doesn't it bother you that someone else walks up on the opposite side of the street and ALSO presses the button? As if you're standing there waiting to cross, and somehow forgot to press the button. "Oh!! That's right! I knew there was something I forgot to do!"  However, on the flip side, when you're the second person to walk up to the button, do you ever get the uncontrollable urge to press the button just in case that first person didn't really do it?? 
 
I do.  And I'm not proud of it. 

Friday, August 12, 2005

You're Just Like the Girl in Your Picture

Is it a good sign or a bad sign that whenever someone sees your drivers license they say "wow, that's a great picture."



I guess it's a good thing when you're giving it to the bartender, or to the guy checking IDs who gives out paychecks every Friday. The time it's bad is when the person looks at your picture, looks at you, looks at your picture again, looks at you again... and says "wow, that's a really good picture", which is exactly what happened at the store. I'm guessing what she really meant to say was, "dude, you look like crap right now" or "that must have been a REALLY good day when you went to the DMV".

Oh well.

And I Thought That I Don't Belong

Two things to report on this today. 
 
Making Sunday "Documentary Sunday" for the second week in a row, I went and saw "Murderball".  This is an incredible movie about the quadrapalegic Wheelchair Rugby Team, and their effort to win gold at the Paralympics.  If you haven't heard anything about it, then right now you're thinking I'm crazy.  Kinda like the penguin movie.  Just trust me.  Go see it. 
 
This week I purchased Hootie and the Blowfish's new record.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been a Hootie fan from the beginning.  But not brave enough to actually wear the concert t-shirt anywhere but in the privacy of my own home.  This record is classic Hootie, and I love it.  But I'm really not surprised I love it--I've loved all of their records.  So there. The band plays here locally every few months or so at The Silverton.  I haven't been to a Hootie show since 1998, but I'm hoping to see them very soon.  I'm overdue.     

Thursday, August 11, 2005

If Tomorow Never Comes

Yesterday was the 3rd week in a row I've taken a nap in my car on my lunch break.  Turn on the a/c, put the seat back, set the alarm on my phone and I'm good to go.  It's always on a Wednesday--I guess I find myself in need of a midweek recharge. 
 
Today I am breaking tradition and taking a nap again.  GOOD GOLLY I went to bed late last night and am in need of a little catnap to perk up.  Is it going to be another late night?  GOOD GOLLY I have no idea but I do know that I'm not as tired as someone else who probably had to wake up earlier than I did and who probably doesn't get to take a midday nap.  This could possibly be the same person who also probably doesn't cry in movies and who probably is still waiting to eat an egg sandwich. 
 
Yesterday I absolutely crashed during my lunchtime quickie.  Today I'm hoping it's more of the same.  I'm just hoping the crease on my face is less noticable today.  Those take a while to fade, ya know?
 
Isn't my life exciting??  Don't be jealous.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I'd Like a Million of You All to Myself

Here are a few stupid things I did today.

I took my dog for a walk, and like always, took a bag with me in case I needed to clean up after him. I was walking him over to pick up the mail, so I stuck the bag in my back pocket -- then forgot about it. I went and ran errands, went to the store, etc... and had this plastic bag sticking out my back pocket the entire time.

It doesn't sound so strange, but seriously. If you saw someone walking around with a plastic bag sticking out of their back pocket, wouldn't you think it was a little odd??

Second stupid thing, as I came back I was really thirsty. I usually have a multitude of bottles of water around the house because I tend to be thirsty a lot. I grabbed one that was closest, which was still kind of off to the side. After I downed what remained in the bottle and put the cap back on, I realized I had set it off to the side near the trash can to remind myself to throw it away. It was the same bottle I had taken to the dog park and let the dogs all drink out of. Yummy.

There's still a few hours in the day left. There's time for more.

Thumbtastic

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We're due for another Thumb checkup. And this one's a biggie.

He just turned 8 months old on Monday.
He's got 9 teeth with another one sure to follow close behind. The average kid has 8 teeth by the time they're 1.
He says "Mama" and "Dada". Albeit, with no actual reference to anyone, but hey, we'll take it.
Last night he took his first steps. 4 in total. And without any encouragement. He was standing leaning on the ottoman, when he looked over at my sister... and just walked to her.

By the way, he still hasn't crawled.

I figure I'm set for life cuz this kid's a genius, is going to make billions of dollars, and always make sure his favorite Auntie/Godmother is well taken care of.

Crazy For You

Wow, I'm lagging but I absolutely have to catch up on my weekend with a few words.

First of all--Paul and Andrea if you EVER read this EVER in your lifetime, please know that I love you very much and I hope you get married and name your firstborn after me. Seriously. Actually, just name them all after me. I deserve it.

So I had friends visit me this weekend from home. (Weird how I still call it home sometimes...). Good time. They were my first official houseguests, and I was excited to have them come.


Short version is that I experienced probably the ultimate single person's nightmare as I helped facilitate a romantic evening between two people who were celebrating a ridiculous (in my opinion) anniversary. It started out innocently enough, but turned into something much bigger when I realized that the guy really needed help. It amazes me why every guy doesn't have a close girl friend to advise on situations. You need them. Trust me.

The whole evening involved me breaking into his car to put roses on her seat, make dinner reservations, buy gondola ride tickets, then stay to take pictures of the happy couple. I'm not too disappointed that not one single picture turned out--but I'm not bitter.

Again--love you guys.

Friday, August 05, 2005

You Will Taste the Meaning of This Life

Here are a few things of note that I have not mentioned in my blog for some unexplainable reason. Please forgive the delay in reckognizing #3.

1. What the hell is happening on Six Feet Under?!? I mean, I know what's going on -- because I watch it. BUT WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?! If anyone else reading this watches it, please let me know if you are distressed as I am. I shouldn't be shocked because the whole show is about this family working in a funeral home--but NO! They're toying with my emotions and killing people I really like. Three more episodes... I'm going to try to hang in there, but if everyone dies in the finale I might have to hate the show forever.

2. There is finally a music festival coming to Las Vegas. Maybe I should rephrase that because I haven't lived here long enough to say "there is FINALLY a music festival coming to Las Vegas". I lived in So Cal for all my life and have attended maybe 5 "festivals" ever. What I should really say is FINALLY DAVE MATTHEWS IS COMING TO VEGAS!!!! Albeit, it will be Dave Matthews "and friends" but whatever. This is something I have been waiting for. Vegoose is being put on by the same people who are responsible for Bonnaroo. This is a good thing. And I'm very excited.

3. Lance freakin Armstrong won the Tour de France for the 7th time. I've followed the Tour pretty closely for the last 4 years and am in awe of this man. I had the opportunity to see him in person last year when he was riding cross country in support of his Livestrong Foundation. Read more about it here.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Never You Mind

I have been ultra clutzy lately. Or maybe I had a streak of grace and am now getting back to my usual clumsy self. I tripped leaving the theater on Sunday. I almost died this morning as I tripped over a hanger. I almost twisted my ankle today as I left my mom's house. It's getting ugly.

Yesterday I took three of the dogs to the dog park and witnessed an older gentleman with plastic bags tied around his shoes scream at his toy poodle for stepping in crap, then proceed to wash the dog in the drinking fountain all the while still screaming about the poop. Weirdo.

This weekend I watched Cold Mountain for the first time since seeing it in the theatre. I was reminded about one of my favorite lines in a movie: "They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say, shit it's raining." Love it.

I agreed to go see March of the Penguins with my mom. Never heard of it? Go see it. It's a National Geographic movie about Antarctic penguins. Sounds boring, I know. It's truly amazing, and touching, and I will never look at Chilly Willy the same again.

I went to a Dierks Bentley concert Friday night. Actually I was there to see the opening band, Hank Floyd, who are friends of mine. The best part? Having a view of the House of Blues audience from backstage towards the end of the show after copious amounts of alcohol had been consumed and old ladies shook their groove thangs to the tunes of Dierks. Worst part? Remembering I used to love the same music that now drives me crazy. That, and the fact that I was at a sold-out concert by a guy named Dierks.